Sam Fender and the sound of the male loneliness epidemic in Britain
Sam Fender and the sound of the male loneliness epidemic in Britain
By Kiera Macey
By Kiera Macey
By Kiera Macey

With raw and real lyrics, Sam Fender has become an unlikely voice for British men struggling with loneliness and mental health. But why does his music resonate now more than ever?

There are few artists that have captured the UK’s attention in quite the way Sam Fender has recently. The North Shields singer has gone from singing in small pubs in his hometown to selling out huge stadiums like St James Park. He’s carved out a place for himself in the British music scene, with songs like Dead Boys, Spit of You and Dying Light, he never shies away from speaking about the complexities of masculinity and male emotions.

To me, it’s no coincidence that his rise comes as male mental health hits a crisis point, with more and more people talking about the ‘male loneliness epidemic’. The Office for National Statistics (ONS), says three out of four people who take their own lives are men. It’s the biggest cause of death for men under 50 in England and Wales. His music resonates deeply with a society that struggles to say, ‘I need help’.

The Jo Cox Commission on Loneliness found about eight million men across the UK experience a sense of desolation at least once a week. This so called ‘loneliness epidemic’ has become a huge conversation online, with men reportedly struggling more than women. Loneliness isn’t just about not having a partner or housemate to spend your Friday nights with, it stems from a lack of community or feeling like there’s no support group. Essentially, feeling like you can’t speak to anyone about your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Sometimes, men don’t realise what they’re feeling is loneliness, it might show up as irritability or loss of energy, but when social constructs mean they don’t feel like they can talk through these feelings, the situation only worsens.

This is where Sam Fender comes in. As people struggle with situations or feelings in their lives, they look for things that might make them feel better. Often, music is one of those things. The American Psychological Association says in an article about music and mental health, ‘Recent research suggests that music engagement not only shapes our personal and cultural identities but also plays a role in mood regulation’. So if people’s brains are hardwired to respond to music naturally, hearing lyrics you resonate with in some way, if he’s articulating feelings you didn’t feel you could, then that dopamine boost might be more intense. 

It’s also more than listening alone, a huge part of British culture is music and concerts, singing along to our favourite songs together. British crowds are known across the globe for their energy and passion. Sam Fender’s live shows are deeply cathartic as the crowds sing the lyrics to Seventeen Going Under, some with tears in their eyes. As someone who has been to these concerts and experienced my own catharsis, it is truly an indescribable feeling. The communal experience offers something so powerful, especially for those who feel alone, it can be a source of profound connection and healing.

Sam’s rise in popularity has got me thinking, maybe it’s reflecting a culture shift. More and more young men seem to be rejecting the idea that they have to be stoic to be seen as masculine. Having someone like Sam Fender, traditionally masculine but also in touch with his emotions and thoughts makes the shift feel more possible. 

Sam talks candidly about mental health and his struggles growing up. In an interview with NME he talked about what it is that stops people from talking things out: “I genuinely think it’s toxic masculinity and the idea of what a man is supposed to be. This really archaic, out of date idea of how a man is supposed to conduct himself. I think that’s what kills men, genuinely. I have personally struggled with that, growing up and being a young lad in 2018 in Newcastle. I think everyone does.

“There are a lot of challenges we are facing; like how you are supposed to react to emotional stress. I’ve got no shame in it. I was told not to cry as a kid. It’s that sort of backwards attitude, so when we feel bad we feel ashamed or we feel embarrassed.”

In a society that promotes the stiff upper lip as something to strive for, keeping quiet can feel like the only option. For men, it’s worse, with stereotypes about what a real man is lingering. But Sam Fender and his mass following  tells us something truly important about the emotional needs of men today. They want connection and vulnerability without shame. Sam’s music opens the doors for men to have those conversations. He reminds us in his music that people care and they want to hear about your problems, “So call me if you’re down, I’ll help you come around, The kettle on a rolling boil until it’s sorted out.”

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